panic.jpg

It happened to me. Just tonight, as a matter of fact. But I am here to tell you that I survived, and you will too, should it happen to you.

My computer became infected with the most atrocious, malicious, aggravating computer virus I had ever encountered.

The symptoms:

  • Random Desktop icons flashing.
  • Start button opened immediately to the Run function.
  • Could not access the Control Panel.
  • Multiple pages opened and blinked.
  • Task Manager had a mind of its own.
  • Could not perform searches in search engines.
  • All “R”s became highlighted.
  • Unable to log off or switch users.
  • Multiple beeping sounds.
  • Could not access files.
  • The letter “R” multiplied it self repeatedly in any and every text bar.
  • “R”s automatically generated themselves without accessing the keyboard.
  • Unable to type without the letter “R” being randomly inserted (ie. randormly).
  • Immune to Ad-aware, Norton Anti-virus, Spy-Bot.
  • Unknown risk.
  • No available anti-venom, I mean removal protocol.

Good thing for me with all of my technical know-how I was able to do an end-around and bypass some of the peculiarities as my computer went haywire. I found that if I held the control key I was able to better navigate, but it remained difficult for even a computer savvy person like me.

I took on the challenge, and challenge it was, of trying to find out the origin and remedy for ridding my computer of this malady.

“People are just plain sick,” I thought. “Don’t they have anything better to do with their lives than create computer viruses and trojans? Maybe its a conspiracy put in place by the anti-virus companies to keep sales up!” I had all kinds of dreadful thoughts.

My son called and I told him he had better not open the email I just sent him because my computer has a serious infection. “What’s wrong,” he asked. “I think it’s some ‘R’ virus. It’s a real bad one,” I warned.

I complained to my husband that I have never seen the likes of this thing. “It’s like the letter “R” is holding my computer hostage!” He asked if the antivirus was on and my look of exasperation told him it was. “A lot of good that’s for,” we grumbled in unison. Bewildered, he just shrugged his shoulders and offered an empathetic look. I’m the geek in the house, he’s the handyman. This was obviously beyond his area of expertise. I must suffer.

Then he asked, “How long have you been working on the problem?”

“Oh, at least an hour or so. I don’t know what else to do.” A feeling of impending gloom began to overtake me. I had so much work to do, deadlines to meet, and I couldn’t lose my files! I was beginning to feel sick to my stomach!

I restarted my computer and tried to give it another shot at diagnosis and repair. My husband came in behind me and I began to show him how every place I tried “R”s were affected. “Maybe you need a new keyboard,” he surmised. I rolled my eyes. It was obviously far more complicated than that.

Mr. Handyman leaned over my shoulder and tapped briskly on the “R” key. Amazing! Everything instantly went back to normal. My “R” virus was gone. And so was my pride.

My recommendation: Stop eating and drinking at your computer.

Advertisements