It’s a joyous season to celebrate the things I do have in my life, but I find I do much better to let go of any expectations and take it day by day. My husband finally got his Christmas bonus today – three days before Christmas. We couldn’t get a tree this year – for the first time ever. But I layed down that desire and found great satisfaction in decorating the house with other things and setting up a tiny little artificial tree instead. There’s not much for Christmas shopping, and not even a chance until now. We have been paying big time on debts and some of them will be dropping off come the new year, so it is worth it. “They” are still collecting child support from my husband, although our children are of age and we are remarried. He has satisfied his bill and now “they” owe us!! Do they even care that we would like to use that money to buy our kids much needed gifts for Christmas.
I’m finding ways to make peace with relationships, expectations, situations. And in spite of it all, sadness and frustration included, I think I have more joy in my heart than ever. I know we will have a nice Christmas nevertheless because we have so much to look forward to in the coming year, including a few more bucks to meet our expenses. If “they” cough it up.